She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
