belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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