Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
