I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
