thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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