I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
