I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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