I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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