Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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