you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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