watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize