literally had 100 drinks last night.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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