Taylor Swift is so right about you.
from now on my penis is your penis
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I stole a fireplace last night.
You pole danced in your parka.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
