well I can't set my house on fire every night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
