What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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