i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
