Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize