I have demons in me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
