Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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