i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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