I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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