therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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