what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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