Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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