these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
