No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
