I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
