She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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