it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
