Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
