You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
