just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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