Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
