Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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