HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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