apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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