I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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