her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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