i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
