Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
