if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
