Only a mothe r could love this liver
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
