whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
