evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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