there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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