So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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