So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
