We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
