i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
someone owes me an orgasm
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
