wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
