You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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