if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
