guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
