I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
