We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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