i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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