I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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