She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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