What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
