yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
His nipple licking is glorious
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