so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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