so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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