that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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