Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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