I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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