"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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