I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
