now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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