and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
