I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
