What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
