My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
