His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
