my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We need to get me chipped asap
Shame - the story of my life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
